Music, and why I enjoy it

I've had this image in my head for the last few years, but I can't decide if I'm good enough to draw it. A teenager, female, laying in a hospital bed. Bandage around her head, rain on the window, and her I.V. port is going up to an iPod pumping music directly into her veins. 

Despite my utter lack of knowledge regarding how to play or read it, I am a very music oriented person. I hear conversations in the context of how they would sound as lyrics. Counting the tempo of my blinkers, clicking away on my dashboard. Hearing a symphony from a few small notes my friend hums. If I love you, I have a song that reminds me of you, and I listen to them all when I'm lonely.

I've thought about the songs I want played at my funeral so many times that I may as well just make a damn playlist about it. I know I want a girl that I barely know to play her cover of "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls, because her voice is so haunting and beautiful that I can almost see myself rising out of my own ashes just to hear it again.

God, I'm so deep.

Sometimes, I'll go on these kicks where I search Google for a friend's band, just to hear them play this one song. Hear the lead singer's voice crack on the high note they haven't learned to hit yet. Practiced fingers sliding along a string.  Drum beats that are almost always on tempo, except for this one section right at the start when they come in just a little too late.

I love music because it keeps me warm, even if the song is broken and curt. When I wrap myself up in the comforting vibrations, I feel safe. When it ends, I shiver. I am learning how to not judge someone based on their taste in music, no matter how ridiculous it may be. Who the Hell am I to decide what good music is? Listen as you will, my friends. Listen as you will.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Music is my God. I will sacrifice myself to it freely and gladly, bleed on its' altar and smile as I fade. Take my soul, ye Gods of Rock 'n Roll. For it is not mine to keep.

That's about it, I guess.  I have a lot to say right now, so I'm probably going to blog more later about other things. But as for music, I've said my rant.